Strictly Stalking
I was recently featured on Strictly Stalking Podcast to discuss the impact of stalking on victims' mental health and ways to cope if you find yourself in a similar situation.
The podcast provides a platform for victims to share their stories and empower others to speak up about theirs.
To listen to the full episode, visit https://link.chtbl.com/-U8I2DVR
Stalking victimization is a growing problem in the United States and cases are often under-reported. We must spread awareness surrounding these topics and highlight the importance of seeking help. Nearly 1 in 6 women and 1 in 17 men have been a victim of stalking at some point in their lives. Stalking often starts early, with many victims reporting being stalked before the age of 25. While a stranger can perpetrate stalking, it is usually done by someone with whom the victim had a previous relationship. The legal definition of stalking varies between different jurisdictions, but it can generally be described as "a pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear." It is the act of willfully and maliciously following or harassing of another person repeatedly.
Examples of stalking behavior
Repeated phone calls, text messages, emails, or unwanted gifts
Showing up uninvited to the victim's workplace, home, or school
Constant surveillance or tracking the victim
Making threats to harm the victim, their friends, or their family
Attempting to gain information about the victim through friends or family
Breaking and entering into the victim's home or destroying property
Attempting actions to control or otherwise frighten the victim
Mental Health Implications
These actions can leave the victim feeling vulnerable and afraid, which can lead to a host of psychological problems. Research has demonstrated that stalking victims can develop depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as a result of continued threats and harassment. Symptoms of PTSD in stalking victims can include hypervigilance (always on the lookout) and flashbacks of associated startling experiences. Other clinical consequences can consist of feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety, humiliation, shame, helplessness, and hopelessness, which can continue even long after the stalking has occurred. Many victims may go on to develop agoraphobia, which is an inability to leave the house due to fear/ anxiety surrounding what might happen. Interpersonal functioning can also be impacted by leaving the victim insecure and unable to trust others, experiencing problems with intimacy. Many victims tend to isolate themselves due to distressing psychological symptoms, an inability to trust others, or as an attempt to protect others from the situation. Due to these devastating consequences, victims may find themselves feeling suicidal or self-medicating with drugs or alcohol.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, it's important to remember that these are normal responses to a devastating situation. Stalking can happen to anyone regardless of age, gender, culture, or socioeconomic class. The toll that stalking has on the mental and emotional health of victims must be acknowledged and addressed in psychotherapy before they worsen. Psychology Today has a comprehensive directory of therapists in your area that specialize in crisis management and trauma recovery. Therapists can provide invaluable help in coping with the current situation through different modalities.
Stalkers are unpredictable and each situation is unique; there is no one size fits all solution. However, there are some actions that you can take to protect yourself.
Contact Law Enforcement for Assistance
If you feel that you are in immediate danger, contact the police immediately. Don't take threats lightly. Be aware that the stalker might use threats of suicide as manipulation to keep you in the situation.
Notify Others
Alert trusted friends, family, neighbors of your situation and ask them to keep an eye out for suspicious behavior.
Contact an Advocate/Agency
Reach out to an advocate at your local domestic violence/ sexual assault agency or district attorney's office. They can help you better understand local stalking laws and steps to attain a protective order as well as connect you with other local services.
Visit https://www.womenslaw.org/ for legal information without the jargon and a directory of places that can help by state.
Document All Interactions & Incidents
Save all call logs, voicemails, text messages, or unwanted gifts from the stalker. Photograph any damages and keep a record with a description, time, and date of any sightings of the stalker.
Refrain from Responding
Stalking often starts with smaller intrusive actions before escalating. It's important to trust your gut in the beginning and set firm boundaries with the stalker by calmly yet assertively stating that you want them to stop. If the actions continue past that point, end all contact. Refrain from answering phone calls, emails, or text messages. Any further responses can encourage the behavior to continue.
Create a Safety Plan
Be proactive by creating a personalized safety plan to ensure your emotional and physical safety by establishing ways to protect your home or determining a safe place to go to in case of an emergency.
Be cautious with Social Media
Technology has made it easier than ever to share information about ourselves instantaneously. While these advancements make it more convenient for us to stay connected, they can also act as a double edged sword. Some ways to protect yourself and your information online include changing the status of your profile to private and only accepting requests from familiar accounts, refraining from sharing your exact location, and limiting sharing personal information or places you like to frequent.
Stalking is a complete violation of an individual's rights to privacy and autonomy. The fundamental need to feel safe is stripped away, leaving victims feeling anxious, on edge, and out of control of their lives. Though challenging, it's crucial not to let the situation paralyze you with fear by focusing on what you can control to ensure your safety. Surrounding yourself with trusted individuals, obtaining a restraining order, changing your phone number, and protecting your personal information online are some examples. Stalkers often feed off the feelings of fear and powerlessness they invoke in victims as it provides them with a sense of power. Being proactive early on is the best course of action.
If you or someone you know is being stalked and in need of help visit:
Safe Horizon: 1-866-689-HELP (4357). Victims Hotline is Available 24-Hours a Day and they offer several different programs to assist victims.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233)
Hotline advocates are available 24/7 for victims or anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies all over the U.S. Call
Victim Connect Resource Center: 855-4-VICTIM (855-484-2846).
The National Center for Victims of Crime offers information, resources, and hotline and online assistance for victims of domestic violence, stalking, sexual assault, human trafficking, and elder abuse.
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor. Free 24/7 support